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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

WHAT is wrong with this picture???

In Education, Grammar snob, Humor on Tuesday, 8 January 2013 at 07:20
do you see it?

do you see it?

adult truths

In Humor on Monday, 7 January 2013 at 07:27

a chuckle for a monday morning…this was sent to me in an email so i don’t have any citations or references, but had to share.  how many do you identify with?  😉

Adult Truths

1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5.  Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

6. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

7. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.

8.  I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

9. Bad decisions make good stories.

10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

12. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

13. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

14. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

16. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Dangerous Neighborhoods” routing option.

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

18. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

19.  Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

20.  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

21. Was learning cursive really necessary?

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

friendship is like a box of chocolates…

In Humor, Insomnia on Monday, 24 September 2012 at 07:30

How Bad Teachers Nearly Ruined My Life

In Education, Humor, Pedagogy on Sunday, 23 September 2012 at 13:30

How Bad Teachers Nearly Ruined My Life.

worry about yourself

In Gay rights, Humor, LGBTQI on Tuesday, 18 September 2012 at 06:08

let’s hope we are not old and gray and STILL fighting against the right for all consenting adults to marry regardless of whom it is they are marrying.  i mean, really, how does that affect YOU???

and another…

some days you’re the pigeon…

In Fitness/Health, Humor, Inspiration, Mindfulness, Well-being on Sunday, 16 September 2012 at 10:23

i can’t recall where i found this but i really like it!

***

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.

So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!”

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

  • Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
  • Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
  • Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
  • Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
  • If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  • If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
  • Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. Melody:
  • Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird…sleep late.
  • The second mouse gets the cheese. (so, don’t always be in such a hurry)
  • You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
  • We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
  • A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

I am a dog rescuer…

In Animal Rescue, Animal Welfare, Humor on Wednesday, 12 September 2012 at 07:37

so very true…

ADHD funny comic…

In ADHD, Humor on Monday, 10 September 2012 at 07:52

What ADHD looks like…

Pronunciation. Or, why the English language can be confusing.

In Education, Humor on Sunday, 9 September 2012 at 06:21

This poem  illustrates why English Language Learners have difficulties with the English language.

 

“Hints on pronunciation for foreigners

By: Anonymous

I take it you already know
of tough and bough and cough and dough.
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps.

Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead-it’s said like bed, not bead.
For goodness sake, don’t call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat.
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for pear and bear.
And then there’s dose and rose and lose
Just look them up–and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward.
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go, then thwart and cart.
Come, come I’ve hardly made a start.

A dreadful language? Man alive,
I’d mastered it when I was five!

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